I like structure, and I like boundaries. Once they’re in place, I ironically feel much more comfortable because I can go above and beyond what’s called for. Without standards, there’s nothing for me to exceed. It makes me uneasy. Peace Corps service is very generally bound by two documents: 1. The Three Goals of the Peace Corps, and 2. The Ten Core Expectations.
1. Putting tremendous strain on my shaky internet connection.
2. Like in my shrimp example.
3. Southern California, San Jose, and Lowell, MA being possible exceptions as areas in the US with large Khmer populations.
On the other hand, I haven’t spent much time thinking about the Core Expectations. My biggest intentional interaction with them came during the application process [4] when I was asked to write an essay asking how I would live up to the Expectations [5]. We met again during our Mid-Service training last September when we were told that Peace Corps had developed an evaluation tool for Volunteers based upon these Expectations, but that it would be optional for the K6 group [6]. As I look at the list now, it becomes clear that they are as much a part of my daily life in Cambodia as the Three Goals have been, but that they are perhaps more innate or that they are the backdrop for our service.
4. Which I hear has been significantly shortened, allowing recent PCVs to now begin stories with “Back in MY day…”
5. I’m pretty sure I wanted to say “Sorry, I don’t comment on hypotheticals,” or “By doing it?”
6. While ostensibly for the purpose of improving recruiting practices, this new, optional-for-us assessment apparently incited a minor revolt when presented to the CHEs.
So, what are the Core Expectations for Peace Corps Volunteers and how do they translate to daily life in the field?
In working toward fulfilling the Peace Corps Mission of promoting world peace and friendship, as a trainee and Volunteer, you are expected to:
- 1. Prepare your personal and professional life to make a commitment to serve abroad for a full term of 27 months
7. For reasons I hope to explore in a later post.
8. I’m not pushing it, though.
Parts of my personal life were more difficult to prepare. I happened to be dating two girls at the time of my decision [9], and there wasn’t much of a future with either of them, regardless of where I would end up nearly two years later. I was told by friends that two years was a long time, and that inevitably I would miss major events in the lives of those around me, weddings and such [10]. But what really makes it complicated is what a K5 called “the hidden costs of being a Volunteer” in an article she wrote for our internal Volunteer newsletter, Mango Dreams.
9. The only time in my life I’ve “played the field,” like dating was in the old days.
10. Yeah, that’s happened: Weddings, births, deaths...But ultimately, I decided that what was best for me can’t be dictated by what’s happening in the lives of those around me.
There are a lot of things that need to be squared away when you’re going to be out of the United States and without an income to speak of for two solid years. For instance, my truck. It’s a 2004 Toyota Tacoma that I paid off in 2009, shortly after I was laid off. It’s got less than 60,000 miles on it and, presumably, will run forever. I could’ve sold it, but then I wouldn’t have had a car when I returned and would’ve had to buy another one [11]. So, we decided to store it. Fortunately for me, my brother and sister-in-law purchased a house with a carport a couple of months before I left for the Peace Corps and generously offered to keep it there. Meanwhile, we’ve kept it registered in California as “Planned Non-Operational,” and before I can get it fully registered again, I need to somehow get it back from Maryland and get it smogged. That could be a tricky needly to thread.
I made it through most of my academic career without student loans [12], but needed them to pay for graduate school in Virginia. They are deferred while I serve in the Peace Corps, yet they continue to accrue interest which, if not paid off monthly, capitalizes and gets added to my outstanding balance for the next month. So, I decided to allot a portion of my readjustment allowance to paying down the interest. It definitely feels like you’re treading water, but it’s also definitely the smartest financial move I could’ve made in my situation. It means that my readjustment allowance will be significantly smaller than if I had left it untouched, and most of what remains will be funneled right back into my student loans [13].
11. I’m from Southern California, where not having a car is like a death sentence.
12. Thank you, junior college and state schools and living at home with a supportive family and working my ass off at one shit job after another.
13. A chemistry professor at the junior college once gave us GOOD financial advice: Get Out Of Debt.
I was fortunate that I moved from California to Virginia the year before I joined the Peace Corps, so I had already gone through the process of throwing out/selling/giving away as much “stuff” as I could. What was left needed to be stored somehow, and since two years is a long time to pay for a storage unit when you don’t have an income, that burden fell on my family. My brother has my truck, a few boxes of clothes, and most of my everyday kitchen gear at his house in Maryland. Before my dad retired and moved in with my brother to help take care of my nephew, he was storing over 30 boxes of books and various items (mostly books). All of that reverted to my mom, joining countless other items that she was already storing in the garage at my grandmother’s house. On top of all that, my friend Jim has my banjo at his house in Costa Mesa.
I think we’ll really see how well I prepared my personal life to be gone for two years when I return to the States and attempt to put the pieces of the puzzle back together.
- 2. Commit to improving the quality of life of the people with whom you live and work; and, in doing so, share your skills, adapt them, and learn new skills as needed
14. You didn’t, but you’re here reading my blog, so I’ll tell you anyway.
15. And whether I like it or not.
16. I’m not a fan of private schools.
I came here with a pretty strong professional skill set related to curriculum development, lesson planning, and general knowledge about teaching. One of the main reasons I joined the Peace Corps was to have an opportunity to use and share those skills with people outside of my living room [17]. As a native English speaker, I also had an inherent set of skills (pronunciation, vocabulary, practical knowledge of grammatical structures, and every day communication) to share with my counterparts and my students, regardless of their level of English.
I’ve needed to adapt my teaching skills because I ended up at a teacher training center instructing on English methodology. I learned about the “communicative approach” to language learning and the structure of different types of TEFL (Teaching English as a Foreign Language) lessons and eight different methods for eliciting vocabulary words. While I instinctively know how to pronounce words in English, my job required me to learn about the International Phonetic Alphabet and figure out ways to teach my trainees to make sounds that occur in English, but not their native language [18].
17. Such opportunities were not forthcoming in California.
18. Such as “sh.”
I’ve learned and developed a wider array of new skills than I probably even realize. For one, I learned to speak, listen, read, and write in Khmer. My speaking and listening skills are not among the best, mostly because I don’t need to use Khmer for most of my daily communication, but there has been significant progress since the first night I spent in Takeo town where ordering and paying for dinner required a lot of pointing and gesturing and prices written down in Arabic numerals. Beyond that, I’ve developed into a lean, mean teacher-observing and feedback-giving machine. To do that, I needed to clarify our desired instructional vision and develop a measurement tool (with K5 site mate Vanessa); I read Dale Carnegie’s seminal work, How to Win Friends and Influence People, to find a way to deliver criticism in a way that keeps people open to receiving it [19]; I’ve delved into researching teaching topics and effective instructional techniques to teach my trainees; as we speak, I’m enrolled in an online course about coaching teachers. When I got here, I didn’t really know anything about teaching English as a language, or about improving the teaching of those around me. But those skills have been developed as I’ve gone through my service, ultimately pointing back toward improving the lives of those that I live and work with.
19. Family Guy jokes aside, the “compliment sandwich” isn’t a bad idea. We always start with the positives and try to lower defense mechanisms.
- 3. Serve where the Peace Corps asks you to go, under conditions of hardship, if necessary, and with the flexibility needed for effective service
Among the Americans who are aware of what Peace Corps is and that it still exists [20], there is a very clear perception about what life as a Volunteer is like. We live in grass huts in the middle of a desolate wilderness; we wash our limited wardrobe in a local river; we write letters to friends and family back home by the light of a candle made of tallow we rendered ourselves when the village cow finally succumbed to brucellosis. The truth is that global standards of living have improved significantly since the establishment of Peace Corps in 1961, and with that, Volunteers living conditions have, for the most part, improved as well. This reality has given birth to the idea of “Posh Corps,” which is apparently Volunteer lingo for an easy Peace Corps experience [21].
20. Not as large a segment of the population as you’d assume or that we’d like.
21. Although I’ve never heard anyone say that.
Throughout the application process, you have no idea what country you’ll end up serving in. Once we arrived at our post country, we had no idea where our site would be or what it would be like, at least with the Cambodia model of PST. When we moved to our training villages, the information I received from our staff was that my first host family did not have running water and did not have electricity. At that moment, I was prepared to adapt to that reality. I didn’t even bring my computer to the village, opting instead to leave it locked up in bag storage at our hub site in the provincial town. To put it succinctly, this was a “Yellowcake” level case of bad intelligence. Not only did my host family have electricity and running water, they lived in the biggest house in the village. I had the second floor all to myself, which included a giant bedroom, a private bathroom, and a large sitting area with stairs leading to a deck on the rooftop. The family also owned a small washing machine. At that point, "hardship" meant trying to sleep at night with nothing between my body and a picnic table except a 2'' thick PC-issued mattress that was barely wider than I was.
When I moved again to my permanent site, I had no real idea what my house for the next two years would be like. It turned out to be even more luxurious than my training site: once again, I had a large bedroom (with a REAL bed and mattress) and a private bathroom that not only included running water, but a western-style flush toilet, a sink, and a shower head. And, through an incredible stroke of good luck, my host family once again owned a washing machine...which means that, throughout all of my time in Cambodia, I’ve never done a load of laundry by hand (baok cao aow, in the Khmer, which literally translates to “beating clothes.”).
I’m the first to admit that my Volunteer experience has not included the type of hardships most envision about the Peace Corps, and my fellow Volunteers often jump at the chance to criticize me and remind me of my “posh” and privileged existence [22]. My response is typically along these lines: with experience as a teacher and a Master’s degree in education, I was brought here as a teacher trainer. As a teacher trainer, I was placed in or around a provincial town. In and around provincial towns, houses are typically nicer and more services are available than out in the countryside. My skills and my experience dictated where I would be sent. And if that argument doesn’t fly for you, then YOU try living here and doing my job...because the odds are that you couldn’t hack it, wouldn’t put as much into it as I have, and wouldn’t have made as much of an impact with the technical training aspects of our mission as I have [23].
22. Not naming names...*cough*cough*...Beth Ann…
23. Besides, it’s really just sour grapes, isn’t it? Would you be any happier with your life if I didn’t have a washing machine? It has no effect on you either way.
I won’t deny that I have it easier than a vast majority of the Volunteers here, but I do deny that reality has made this experience easy for me. In theory, we have running water; in reality, it infrequently works. Our electricity is steadier, but has gone out for days at a time in the height of the hot season. Without water, the washing machine becomes an expensive clothes hamper, and manually filling it up for wash and rinse cycles is no easy or quick feat. I once likened the situation to Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs: with my basic needs met, I free up mental and emotional RAM to worry/get frustrated with other things. Does it really matter how much I improve my trainees‘ teaching ability when most of them don’t plan on being teachers in five years? Does it really matter how much I improve their teaching when Cambodian public schools are locked into a terrible, failing English curriculum that shows no sign of changing? Is Peace Corps, overall, going to really have much an impact in a country like Cambodia that is riddled with systemic problems out of our control?
No, I don’t need to run my fan off of a car battery, but I’ve put as much blood, sweat, and tears into my service as anyone else here [24], and if you don’t agree because I have my own bathroom, then you can go pound sand. I have chickens and hogs next door and I get woken up by wat music and chanting and wedding music and funeral music and party music at 4:30 in the morning just like you do in the countryside. I was prepared to meet this expectation, I was just dealt a different hand.
24. And considerably more than some people.
- 4. Recognize that your successful and sustainable development work is based on the local trust and confidence you build by living in, and respectfully integrating yourself into, your host community and culture
25. Being a native English speaker is a HUGE bonus.
To me, my community is my school. It’s even smaller than that; it’s the counterparts I work with (2-3 trainers) and my trainees (66 in Year Two). Whereas my first attempt crashed and burned because I’d yet to gain trust and confidence, the success in the second year of my service I think is a direct result of having demonstrated value and proficiency to my co-teachers and my trainees over the course of the first year. If I could go back and do it again, I would’ve done what I did my second year during my first year, which would’ve freed me up to do something more ambitious my second year (like what I had originally planned to do my first year).
Fresh off a batch of meetings with staff and faculty at my training center, the number one complaint from them about my service was that I was quiet and didn’t reach out to trainers beyond the small group that I worked closely with. Some of you might be thinking, “Wait a minute...you were a guest. Shouldn’t your hosts have reached out to you?” I’m of a similar mind, but the people who don’t know me are afraid to talk to me. Apparently, I can be intimidating. Those who buy the ticket take the ride.
- 5. Recognize that you are responsible 24 hours a day, 7 days a week for your personal conduct and professional performance
Officially, there are no days off and no “alone” time. We’re always on duty. In reality, you need time away from your work, your host family, your coworkers, and the things that you struggle to navigate in the country for your own sanity. Throughout the course of my first year, my weekly release was going into town on Friday afternoon for french fries and cheap draft beer at happy hour. When depression built up and really began to take its toll between December and March in my first year of service, I needed to find other outlets. I intensified my focus on exercising; I started reading more; I started writing more.
But I digress. We are very visible in our communities; less so in my situation near a large provincial town, but it persists. People see us places, people recognize us, people talk to other people and word gets around. We need to be on our best behavior at all times, because if we aren’t and make mistakes, it’s well known and can impact our ability to do our jobs.
- 6. Engage with host country partners in a spirit of cooperation, mutual learning, and respect
We have definitely cooperated, planning lessons together or dividing up parts of the lessons provided by the Ministry of Education in their teacher manuals. I’ve learned a tremendous amount about TEFL from my counterparts, and I certainly hope that they’ve learned from me.
- 7. Work within the rules and regulations of the Peace Corps and the local and national laws of the country where you serve
- 8. Exercise judgment and personal responsibility to protect your health, safety, and well-being and that of others
26. Which I’ve believed to be the result of the small grandchildren who are perpetually around my house and perpetually sick and sometimes close to my food and sometimes coughing germs all over everything.
27. Much to my disappointment, it doesn’t come with a belt.
Likewise, my safety record has been spotless. I’ve never been robbed or burgled, and it would be difficult to remember a time in which I genuinely felt unsafe in this country [28]. The fact that I’m much taller and twice as big as most of my would-be assailants is probably a significant deterrent, but we’ve also been well-trained to mitigate our risk. Things that you’d never think about doing twice in the United States are things that I’d probably never do in Cambodia [29].
28. Notable exceptions would probably include bus rides on National Road 5 heading to/back from Phnom Penh when the driver’s default position is straddling the double-yellow.
29. For instance, walking down the street looking at my iPhone.
I do my best to help fellow Volunteers with their safety, especially in places like Phnom Penh and Siem Reap were crime is a little likelier, but sometimes it’s out of your hands. A friend of mine has been robbed multiple times, and still wanders around by herself, oftentimes with a giant backpack full of valuables. But, I’m sure as an American woman, it’s incredibly frustrating to feel like you need to be escorted every where to protect your own safety. I just do what I can.
- 9. Recognize that you will be perceived, in your host country and community, as a representative of the people, cultures, values, and traditions of the United States of America
30. Many of my trainees are convinced the US has 52 states, what with Alaska and Rhode Island.
31. I’ve had to explain that Abraham Lincoln wasn’t really a vampire hunter...as far as we know.
32. His version was basically Romeo and Juliet, but with one character named Valen and one character named Tine. Who would make that up?
Then, all of the sudden, here’s this American living in their community! Just like we’ll be the “Cambodia experts” in the lives of most people we meet in the States after our service, we’re “The American” [33] in our communities in Cambodia. I’m ok with that, and I’ve used it on more than one occasion to teach about some of the fundamental freedoms that most of us take for granted. In one of the first conversations that I had with my host dad, he asked me if I was a Catholic OR Buddhist. No, I’m not either, I said. I’m not religious at all, and there are many people in America who aren’t religious. And even among those who are religious, there are FAR more options than A) Catholic, B) Buddhist, hint: There is no C. That’s a pretty radical concept in a country that is deeply and nearly entirely Buddhist, a country who’s national motto translates to “God, Country, King” [34].
33. More accurately, we’re the barong, which literally translates to “the Frenchman,” but is used in a broader sense to refer to Western foreigners.
34. Of course, one of ours is “In God We Trust,” so who knows.
Similarly, when the director of our local American Corner asked myself and another PCV to come in and present to students about Christmas, I was happy to take the opportunity to share information about the Jewish faith and the traditions of Hanukkah [35]. A couple of days later, I was getting a cup of coffee at a cafe near my house, and a teenaged Khmer boy said, “Hey, I saw you present at the American Corner about Hanukkah. I had never heard any of that stuff before!” I tend to be more of a rock on the “marshmallow/jelly bean/rock” scale, but it was heart-warming.
Of course, there’s also a flip-side to it. Once, I walked around the corner from my house to my host sister’s shop to buy phone credits. When I got there, she was chatting with a local woman who had ridden her moto over from a different part of town to buy a few supplies. As I started talking to my host sister in Khmer [36], the woman got very excited and started asking me questions. She asked me what I did, and when I told her that I worked at the teacher training center, she told me that she ran a p’tayuh joo-ul [37]. She asked what my nationality was, and when I said American, she became a little despondent. “Americans come to rent my house,” she said. “They all smoke medicine.” Well, yeah...a lot of Americans do drugs, I said. Not me though...I’m one of the good guys.
35. I looked in earnest for a wintertime holiday for Islam so we could cover most of the major religions, but I struck out. Muslim holidays are on a lunar calendar and move all over the Gregorian.
36. Back when I still knew a thing or two…
37. Kind of like an apartment complex, but literally meaning a house that you can rent.
- 10. Represent responsibly the people, culture, values, and traditions of your host country and community to people in the United States both during and following your service
This is an important part of the Peace Corps; not only is it the 10th core expectation, it’s also the third goal. We’re sending Volunteers all over the world in part so that they can come back and teach Americans who will never go to their country of service all about it. I’ve pitched in a little bit through this blog: I wrote a two-part series on the food (Parts I and II); I’ve published a few editions of The Language Lesson (I, II, III); I’ve shared stories about visiting Khmer Rouge sites, significant holidays, and how much we’re affected by the cycle of drought and monsoon (The Flooding, The Gathering Storm). OF COURSE I’ve been to Angkor Wat (Trip One, Trip Two), and a bunch other places around Cambodia. My Worldwise Schools correspondence may not have panned out as well as I had hoped, but shit, I did answer a list of burning questions 8th graders reading The Clay Marble had about the Kingdom of Wonder, and I gave their teacher a ton of pictures to share.
For me, it’s really too soon to make a judgment on the impact my Peace Corps service has/will have on my life. But it would definitely be irresponsible to reduce this opportunity to a lengthy diatribe detailing my frustrations and what I’ve hated.
38. Writing objectives, creating assessments, planning instructional activities.
Considering the Ten Core Expectations, I think the biggest area for improvement would fall under the category of “integration/relationship building.” It would’ve been great if I came to Cambodia and was outgoing and made a lot of friends in my community and spent a lot of time with my host family and developed those relationships...but that simply isn’t the type of person that I am, and being 8,000 miles away from home wasn’t going to transform my personality. I focused on my job, and was as outgoing as necessary and built as many relationships as I needed to in order to successfully do that work. I think when the dust settles and I have some time away from this experience and gain some perspective, I will have wished that I spent a little more time enjoying it as a unique opportunity and a little less time feeling put upon and frustrated with things around me.
But hey, there’s still a few weeks left.
Until next time,
- N